Completely Unrelated... Almost

I hate unoriginal poker aliases... with a passion. I am currently sitting in a 10+1 sng with a player named "Count Scoopula." Are you kidding me? Ok, if you're going to create a poker alias that is somehow related to the game, don't make it something like "GIVEMEYOCHIPS" or "SHIP IT" or "Count Scoopula." And I know you are asking right now, "But why Huck, why?" Well my pretties allow me to elaborate. With such a name, guess what, I know you suck as a poker player. Yes, that's right... suck. Now I know you're sitting there asking yourself "But Huck, how can you tell that just from a name?" Easy. Poker is an analytical game. The practices of baiting, trapping, and deception are so firmly engrained in successful poker that you could not remove them with Lou Ferrigno and a pry-bar. So, this being said, if you really were anything other than loose/shitty, your name would not talk about you winning/making money/pwning/skull-fucking/curing cancer. Secondly, the wonderful grammatical ability and extreme bravado immortalized in such names as "GIVEMEYOCHIPS" reek of a lack of the necessary formal education required to grasp a game such as poker. Do you want to know the player I'm afraid of at the poker table?



Dyson. Dyson scares the shit out of me. A)It's a quasi obscure reference that probably only 3/4 of the population will get... he's making that joke for him boys and girls, fuck you if you don't get it. Second, the name implies that Dyson sucks, (if you don't get this part, google my friend, google). So for those of you keeping score at home we now have one (1) semi-obscure reference and one (1) implication of suckitude. Because of these factors, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Dyson is of at least above average intelligence. This poses another problem, because this means Dyson probably has a raging hard-on for irony. Now I know a good player named Dyson is not truly ironic in the Carlinesque sense of the word but just hang with me on this one. Dyson is funny to Dyson because A)It's, as previously established, it's a quasi-obscure reference, but more importantly, and here comes the bombshell boys and girls... B)DYSON DOESN'T SUCK In fact, on a good day, I bet Dyson could probably PWN you and everything you care about, because that's just how he rolls...

And even if all that shit isn't true, at least his name is funnier than "GIVEMEYOCHIPS..."

- Huck